The V-card: Virginity Culture in Society

The V-card!

What makes it so valuable? 

How can you define ‘losing’ it?

Indeed, a sensitive subject charged with issues surrounding morality, religion, gender, society, and sexual politics. There seems to be so little neutral ground to stand on, that many opt out of this conversation altogether.

Afterall, almost everyone thinks about and deals with “virginity” at some point, making it a universal topic. Across the world female Purity, AKA Virginity, is an intense subject for many, and every culture, with no exception.

This article is purely exploratory and is intended to be lighthearted about a heavy subject and hopefully will offer you a few takeaways on the matter! We are unpacking a few prevalent topics.

Virginity – no clear definition exists!

It is difficult to define virginity without leaving out a lot of people.

There is oral sex, anal sex, penis-in-vagina (penetrative sex), and then there are people who perhaps will never have penis-in-vagina sex at all depending on their sexual preference. Since the interpretation of sex differs vastly from individual to individual, and by this definition virginity can mean many things too… Pinning down a definition makes little sense if light of inclusivity.

Losing your virginity and timelines.

Is there a right age to lose your virginity? This again varies vastly from woman to woman. Whether it is within the institution of marriage or pre-marital, losing one’s virginity should only depend on if and when you are ready to take on the experience and emotions that comes with it. So if it’s a 16, 25 or 35, it’s up to you.

Is Virginity gender bias?

Looking at the etymology of the word: Virgin stems from the Latin word Virgo, meaning young woman. But both males and females are virgins too. Why is there only emphasis on female chastity?

Is Virginity a construct to control women?

Historically, in the US a woman’s sexuality belonged to the men in her life. Ownership transferring from father to husband. Most of us no longer subscribe to this belief which explicitly indicates to a woman that her sexuality is not her own or within her control.

Your hymen is not an indication of your virginity.

Contrary to popular belief, a hymen (or lack thereof) is not an indication of virginity. A Hymen is a little tissue or mucus membrane at the opening of the vaginal canal. (Here is where it gets complicated.) Some are born with it; some are born without it. Some disrupt this tissue during sports or other activity, while some have it intact up to childbirth. With so many factors that can affect a hymen, and the fact that hymens come in a variety of shapes and sizes and differ from woman to woman, is it logical to base virginity off a hymen?

Your “First Time” is magical – or is it?

Regardless of where you decide to lose your “V-card,” many would agree their first time was far from pleasurable. Most find it awkward and some even find it painful. It’s down to a case of practice makes perfect. Sadly, this concept of a “First Time” has been hyped up or even romanticized by influences of pop culture, porn culture, and to an extent religious institutions, that its hard to differentiate reality from actuality. Sex is not always life-changing for everyone so the right expectations will help avert disappointment.

Let’s talk - Virginity.

The best way to raise awareness is to encourage open dialogue. Understanding that each and every woman, vagina, vulva, and hymen are different and beautiful in their own right is key. Knowledge can help alleviate stigma which is otherwise veiled in uncertainty.

This blog was written in the name of (REJU)CATION! (Pun intended!)